I love black thongs
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
