Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
