I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
