I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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