Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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