is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
