I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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