but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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