Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
