i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
