I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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