You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
