I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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