Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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