I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
