I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
