It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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