i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
