she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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