I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
