Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
