Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
