dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
false alarm, still single
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
