You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
