She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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