Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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