the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
