I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
