We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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