help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
