Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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