That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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