Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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