brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
