You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
thus making me awesome and them whores
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
