Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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