At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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