My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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