It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
