i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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