just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
