Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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