I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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