he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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