Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
