Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
this boner is exhausting
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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