come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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