I bet he comes in French.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ttyl tear gas
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
