I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
