no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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