at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
