69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
