is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
