my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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